Mental For Dental

My boy is obsessed with toothbrushes.

It used to be that we had to keep him out of the bathroom because he thought it was fun to splash the water in the toilet; now we keep the door shut to keep him from using everyone's toothbrushes, sampling each like he's at a little wine tasting. "Daddy's toothbrush... chewy bristles, a little worn... minty... handle's a bit long... pleasant bouquet, excellent vintage..." Once he settles on one he likes (usually one of his own Baby Einstein-themed brushes), he wants to carry it around with him so he can multitask- dinky car in one hand, toothbrush in the other, chewing on the bristles and brushing his little teeth. He cries if we take it away from him. It's a little disturbing, actually.

I guess it's not all bad, aside from the minor issue of spreading everyone's germs around. At least he likes brushing his teeth; Simon's at an age where lots of kids pitch a fit at the very mention of tooth-time. As soon as we say, "Ready to brush your teeth?" at night, he points to his teeth and runs for the bathroom. The only problem is getting him to stop.

We're considering staging an intervention. We've got to do something before this gets out of hand- all things in moderation and all that. What happens when he refuses to leave the house without his toothbrush? When he's no longer interested in family, friends, or cars, preferring to spend his time hopped up on bristles? What if he ends up in some run-down brush-house, wearing nothing but a diaper, gums bleeding (or tough as nails), brushing his days away, only leaving to steal car stereos that he can sell to feed his habit when his bristles get worn down? Come home to me, Simon!!! I've tried to bring it up a few times, but he just points to his teeth and says "Eh-snuh!" He's got an answer for everything, that one.

I'm sure he'll move on soon; these things don't last too long with toddlers. Last month he was refusing to take his shoes off. There are worse things he could be doing. In the meantime, I'll be taking notes on every one of his adorable idiosyncrasies to share with his girlfriends when he's older. (Joking! Don't worry, pal...)