Good News For Me (and You!)

Originally posted July 25/2007 on "Allison Wonderland"




I have such good news for you. This may be the last time you endure my complaining about vomit, at least for the time being. Aren't you SO happy?!!

Why? 'Cause I only did it ONCE yesterday. Still queasy as hell, but it stayed down, and THAT, my friends, is progress.

That means it's time for me to post The Barf Ratings. This is maybe the grossest idea I've ever had, but really, what else are you thinking about when you're face-down in the can?* The Barf Ratings contain my vast body of knowledge concerning exactly what tastes terrible, bad, and slightly less bad coming back up- though none of it's pleasant, really. This is just my opinion...

"BEST" (comparatively speaking... bleh)
-fruit, esp. watermelon
-cinnamon toast and orange juice
-toast with strawberry jam

"NOT THE WORST, BUT NASTY ANYWAY"
- pizza
-cheerios (honey nut)
-melba toast
-tea

"MAKES ME WANT TO BARF SOME MORE"
-turkey dinner
-clamato juice
-sandwiches
-KD
-saltines
-nothing (empty stomach)


"WORST EVER"
- not from experience, but just to keep things in perspective, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that throwing up gravel, broken glass, raw fish or hypodermic needles would be waaaaay worse than anything that came out of me this week. See? That makes me feel much better.



So that's that. I can almost promise that this is the last entry about barf, vomit, spewing, upchucking, praying to the goddess Porcelina**, etc, at least until I write about someone else's...




*Except, maybe, for "He did this to me. HE DID THIS TO ME!"... but I'm saving that one.

** thanks to Jenny for reminding me of that one. :)