It's a bit like being in high-school again. Stuff's going on all around me, but it's hard for me to join in on the conversations. I try, but I always seem to start talking at the same time as someone else, and they win out. A lot of them already knew each other from church (or high school, grade school, fetus-hood, or whatever) before the group started, so I suppose it's easier for them to have conversations. But I just feel different from the other moms. A lot of them dress really nicely: nice casual pants, shoes with heels, stylish shirts... I wear jeans, maybe cords, long-sleeved t-shirts. They probably dress like they would for work; I dress like I do for work, too, but VV has a different dress code from most offices. Not only that- I'm pretty sure I'm the youngest mom there. I'm the youngest... and I look like I'm 16 (18 on a good hair day).
I try so hard to overcome my natural shyness, mostly because I want to set a good example for Simon. He's happy enough to play on his own, but I wanted to start this group so he'd be exposed to other kids since he doesn't have daycare to get that experience. So far he's doing the typical toddler thing, watching the other kids (and looking like he wonders how these crazy clothed monkeys got into his church), but playing on his own.Some time soon, though, he'll want to make friends, and I want him to see that it's OK to be outgoing, to talk to new people. It's supposed to be good for me, too- Dr. A says I need to get out and socialize, as isolation isn't good for anyone, especially for someone with Depression.
So why do I often leave feeling more depressed than I did when I went in?
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