Allison Wonder and the Case of the Missing Diaper

Originally posted May 23/2007 on "Allison Wonderland"



We don't solve intelligent mysteries around here- we only get brain-fart related conundrums to begin with. Really, any time something goes missing or something strange happens, I blame myself; I'm pretty sure I was responsible for the sugar bowl being in the fridge (again) last week, and I can never remember where I left... well, pretty much anything, actually.

But I knew I put a diaper on Simon on Saturday night... so where did it go?

He had a bath before bed, and then we went into his room, where I dried him off, put a diaper on him, and then chased him down to put his jammies on--- one-piece fuzzy yellow footie-jammies, to be exact. (Awwww!) Then he had his bottle and went to bed.

A few hours later he was crying for another bottle, which is normal for him. I went in, he had his bottle, and I went to put him back to bed- but he felt a little wet. I felt his pajamas to see if he was, in fact wet... and there was his little winkie hangin' out. That's not what we actually call it, but for the sake of... well, whatever, we'll say it was his winkie. Whatever. In any case, there was no diaper there. What the heck?!! I thought, frantically feeling around his bum, his upper legs... his chest, on top of his head... no diaper. Nothing in the crib, either, except a damp baby and his stuffed white tiger, Sigfried. I thought I had lost my mind. I was sure I'd put a diaper on Simon; I would have noticed if he was naked when I went to put his jammies on... wouldn't I? He had a few snaps open in his crotchal area, but it didn't seem like enough that he could have got a diaper out through the opening. Mystery... I tried to put another diaper on over Simon's pajamas so I wouldn't have to wake him up to change him, because that would've been asking for a loooong night; I only got one side done up, but it was all I could do at that point.

AJ came home from work, and I told him about The Mystery of the Disappearing Diaper. He said, "Well, obviously you forgot to put one on him after his bath." No. No, no, no. I couldn't have... could I?

The mystery was solved the next morning when Simon woke up, soaked in pee, but happy. I put a fresh diaper on him... and found the old one. It was squashed down in a wet lump in Simon's right pajama leg, one side still done up. He must have opened a few pajama snaps, reached in, and pulled one side of the diaper open, which then slid down his leg. niiiiiice.

At least I know I'm not crazy.

Right?