Wiggles Road Trip (because my brain has nothing to do)

Originally posted November 24/2007 on "Allison Wonderland"



For those of you not familiar with The Wiggles, they're a group of four Australian guys who sing and dance in a multitude of kids' videos and live shows. They spend a lot of time driving around in The Big Red Car. They're a cheerful bunch, they are.

Greg wears yellow- he does most of the singing. He also sits in the yellow seat and drives the Big Red Car. Greg always keeps his hands on the wheel and his eyes on the road.

Anthony wears the blue shirt. He sits in the blue passenger seat, and eats like a horse- even in the car.

Murray is the tall one wearing red- you'll find him in the back seat playing his guitar.

Jeff is "the purple one". Jeff falls asleep all the time. That's his schtick.

From what we've seen on the videos, it seems like they always have a great time, get along and wear their seatbelts in the car. One can't help but wonder, though, what their road trips are like when the cameras are off...

* * * * * * * * *

Jeff: zzzzzz.....zzzzzzz....zzzzz

Anthony: Crikey, not again. Can't he sleep quietly? He's ruining my lunch.

Murray: (singing and strumming the same 2 chords over and over) Can't you sleep quietly? It will cause a riot...ly...

Anthony: Let's put his hand in warm water. No, let's shave his head!

Murray: Anthony will shave him... will no one save him? La la la la...

Greg: Guys, that's really distracting.

Jeff: (in his sleep) Shaddup. Mrblflupgh.

Anthony: (leans back toward Jeff) Jeff? Jeff, you have a problem. You're narcoleptic, mate. See a frigging doctor, will ya? Oh, gross... Greeeeeg, Jeff just drooled on Murray's leg!

Murray: Sick, mate! Why do I always have to sit next to Drooly McSleepy? Ant'ny's unrooooly, Jeff is drooooly... I call shotgun next tiiiiime...

Greg: Guys, I'm serious- knock it off or I'm turning this Big Red Car around and we're going home.

Murray and Anthony: NOOOOOOO!

Jeff: Naaar.... mrflmnts. Glaaaaah (drools)

Murray: Anthony haaas foooood... Jeff is being ruuuuude...

Anthony: Murray, mate, put the guitar away before I break it over your tiny, ill-proportioned head. Greg's driving.

Murray: He's a keener and a weiner- he's Aaaaaaaaan-thony!

Anthony: That's it! (flings lemon merangue pie over his shoulder at Murray- pie splatters all over Murray and Jeff) Learn another chord, ye gangly half-wit!

Jeff: mmmmmm

Greg: Hey! I swear I will pull over right now and have Officer Beaples bring you all in! I'll have Captain Feathersword keel-haul the lot of you! I'll put you on poop duty for Wags the Dog!

Murray and Anthony: Shaddup!

Jeff: *snort-snort* Wha- wha's goin on? Wha'd I miss? (Murray mashes pie goop in his face) Well, that was uncalled for...