OK, you know how when you're talking to someone online, and they say something funny, so you type "lol" even though you're only laughing on the inside?
Right now, I'm laughing on the outside. I'm lol-ing all over the place.
Go to Overheard in New York- it's a website where people submit actual stupid things thay've heard people say (in New York, naturally). Some of them aren't that funny, some are downright disgusting, but there are so many that are making my laugh my butt off right now.
High Expectations Can Have Unintended Consequences
Kindly gent: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Little kid: Retarded!
Kindly gent: Retarded?
Little kid: My grandpa is retarded, and he gets to play and watch TV all day!
Kindly gent: [Stunned silence.]
Kid's mom, embarrassed: He means 'retired.'
Little kid: Retarded! Retarded! Retarded! I wanna be retarded! [Starts to cry.]
--Washington & Water St
Wait, Are We Talking about the Movie or the Boat?
Bimbette: ... And then I was thinking, Wouldn't it suck if the Titanic really happened?
Friend: Are you fucking serious?
Bimbette: Yeah! I mean, it would be sad, right?
--34th St
While Visualizing It Turning into Vitamins
Little girl: Mommy, can I have ice cream?
Mom: No! Not until you finish your McDonald's. Then you can have that ice cream.
--Atlantic Center
And so on, and so forth. You get the idea.
And just so we're clear, I only enjoy reading the stupid things that other people say because I am, in fact, aware of the huge amount of nonsense that comes out of my own mouth.
Also: Overheard Everywhere
I'm Flightless, They Say -- Why Go On?
Bimbette #1: What's up with Katie?
Bimbette #2: She's an emu. Emus cut themselves.
Go cry, emu kid...
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