Allison Wonderland's Theory of Death

Originally posted April 13th/2007 on "Allison Wonderland"


I have a theory. I've been poking this around in my mind for quite some time- not that I'm morbid, I just liked it. I've been thinking about this since I had a couple of dreams where I died. See? You don't die for real if you die in a dream!

This is the theory, such as it is:

Death is like birth.

After Simon was born, I thought about how terrifying birth must be. Imagine this: you're Cletus the fetus, and the womb (and how I loathe that word) is all you've ever known. Sure, it's getting cramped in there, but it's happened so gradually (or so it seems to you) that you hardly notice it. It's not much, but it's the only familiar place you know. If someone tried to tell you about the world you're about to be born into, you'd call her nuts. In fact, you wouldn't even be able to understand the concepts she'd be telling you about. You have a vague idea about this "mommy" person; you feel her heart beat, you hear her voice, but that's all you know. There are a few other voices that are kind of familiar... but cars? Trees? Faces? Those words don't mean anything to you. No, in here is just fine, thanks.

But you can't avoid birth, can you? Eventually it happens to all good fetuses (feti?), and you, Cletus, are no exception. Maybe you'll feel the walls pressing in on you, the squishing of your head into a little cone shape, the pressure and the slipping out into cold air and warm hands. Maybe you don't get much warning at all; the walls of your world are cut open, and you're pulled from the safe familiarity of your home. In any case, it happens, like it or not.

Poor Cletus. This new world must be so strange! But suddenly you're wrapped snugly in a cozy blanket, and you're cuddled in next to someone you who seems familiar... it's the mommy! You've never seen her face, but you remember hearing your voice. And she says she loves you, and suddenly you know that it's all going to be so good.

I'm not suggesting a direct correlation between the two experiences; I, for one, am hoping that what comes after death is nicer than this world can often be. Makes you think, though, doesn't it? While you're here, living the only life you know, is there something bigger waiting for you to be born into it? Is someone eagerly awaiting your arrival, preparing your new home, getting everything ready for you- someone who just can't wait for you to see their face*? Will you recognize them? None of these are new ideas, of course. I just like thinking about it this way, and the more I do, the more sense it makes.

That's my rambling for today.

*I am aware that the word "their" is not technically correct when referring to a single entity of non-specific gender, but I'm sick of typing s/he.