Have I mentioned lately that I really hate US magazine? Have I also mentions that it arrives at my house every week like a virus I just can't shake? The problem is that it's reading material, and if there's nothing else lying around, I have to read it. It's like gravity- it's a natural law. I have to read something.
And so I learn that celebrities really ARE just like us- they pump gas! They buy expensive coffee! They pick up dog poop! Why do I care?!
I get to read "in-depth" articles (ie based entirely on rumours, quotes taken out of context and third-hand information) about people I don't even care about on a professional level- I really couldn't care less whether Jessica Simpson ever puts out another album or "acts" in another movie, never mind whether she should have stayed with Nick. I also get weekly updates on the State of the Britney, and though I find it hard to have any sympathy for someone who seems to care so little for her kids, I find it really creepy that millions of people are watching a human being self-destruct. She needs serious help from a real psychiatrist, but she doesn't have to get it, does she?
My favourite this week is the section on Christmas gift ideas. These
What do we have- aaahhhh: "Treat someone special (or give 'em a helpful hint!) with these A-list approved presents for everyone on your list". The first gift featured? A pair of really pretty, sparkly peep-toe shoes... for only $1,325! Wow, put 'em in my stocking, Sweetie! What planet are these people living on? Yeah, I know some people consider it reasonable to spend $355 on a purse (?!), but how about (since it's a special occasion) we splurge on this nice Tod's alligator bag for just $15,000? $2000 anti-aging caviar cream... $21,000 (each) gold and diamond bracelets that are just gorgeous if you stack 4 or 5 on at a time...
And my very favourites: who wouldn't want a $13,500 sleeveless white chinchilla coat? DO YOU KNOW HOW ADORABLE CHINCHILLAS ARE?!! And hey, for that money, I expect sleeves, people! Oh, and the belt shown is an extra $250. Oh, and wouldn't it look lovely with these dangly pink gold, diamond and sapphire earrings for just $89,630? Yeah, that price is printed correctly- I almost fell off my chair. Yeah, drop a little hint for that one this Christmas, why don't you?
At least men are cheaper: the most expensive gift shown "for him" is a $600 watch. I'm not sure if that says men are more responsible with their money or women aren't stupid enough to spend $7000 on a Christmas gift.
To their credit, US did put in an article about the various charities that famous people support- that was nice. I could have happily spent the rest of my life not knowing how much Suri Cruise's adorable little outfits cost. Gag.
