Originally posted September 15/2007 on "Allison Wonderland"
Have you all heard Rihanna*'s new song, "Shut Up and Drive"? I like it. It's fun. It's catchy. When it comes on the radio, it makes me drive fast.
But I have this sneaking suspicion, guys... that the song is not about driving. The first clue was the fact that she describes herself as a car when, in fact (get this) she's not a car. I don't want to shock anyone who thought they were just listening to a song about fast cars, but I think this song just might be about... sex. There. I said it.
OK, so everyone had already picked up on that. I just have two things to say: First, good for you on being able to go from 0 to 60 in 3.5, honey- I'm jealous. I, apparently, am an old station wagon, not a Mustang.
Second thing: Whether the song's about cars or sex, maybe encouraging the dudes to "run all the lights" isn't a great idea. See, either way, red light means red light. Stop. Halt. Got it? Guys don't need to be told that it's sexy to run a red light, and girls definitely don't need to be told it's ok for them to do so.
That's my pop music lecture for the day. Seriously, though, fun song.
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Friday, February 5, 2010
Noodle-Nose and Various Media
Originally posted May 26/2007 on "Allison Wonderland"
Simon stuck a piece of Kraft Dinner up his nose last night. He's been doing that a lot lately- not always with Kraft Dinner, mind you, but with food in general. Apple, hot dog, whatever. We're not sure where this new hobby came from, other than Simon's realization that his finger fits in there quite nicely; I guess sticking other stuff up his schnoz was just the next step.
He cried; I'm guessing that KD up the nose doesn't feel good (though I'm sure he'll try it again). It wasn't in there too far... until he stuck his finger in to try to get the noodle out, which only resulted in it being pushed farther in. He was crying, AJ was holding him, I had the flashlight out, trying to see up Simon's tiny nostril... really, it was fun for the whole family.
All Simon wanted to do was to cuddle his Daddy on the couch, even though Daddy wasn't offering any sympathy for his unfortunate situation. He sniffled and snorted and cried some more until, with a big SNORRRT, the offending pasta shot out of his nose onto Daddy's t-shirt. And then he cried a little more (Simon, not AJ).
I wish I thought he'd learn from that experience...
******************************************************************************
I was in the car this morning, and I had the radio on- some Top 40 show. I was shocked, horrified and/or completely disgusted to hear that someone has re-done the song "She's Like The Wind"- you know, the one from Dirty Dancing? Yeah, they so messed it up. If you can't improve on something, people, LEAVE IT ALONE.
It didn't take me long to come up with an appropriate punishment: Whoever is responsible for this travesty should be taken out back and beaten severely about the head and shoulders with a large, wet herring.
I guess it's not what you'd call a logical consequence, but it might act as a deterrant for anyone with his eye on "(I've Had) The Time of My Life".
**********************************************************************************
And finally, an update on the porn store, aka "Strictly Adult Video". The sign now reads "Bush Hunters" (which I'm assuming is not a political thriller), and "Chronicles of a Pervert".
No further comment from me... anyone
Simon stuck a piece of Kraft Dinner up his nose last night. He's been doing that a lot lately- not always with Kraft Dinner, mind you, but with food in general. Apple, hot dog, whatever. We're not sure where this new hobby came from, other than Simon's realization that his finger fits in there quite nicely; I guess sticking other stuff up his schnoz was just the next step.
He cried; I'm guessing that KD up the nose doesn't feel good (though I'm sure he'll try it again). It wasn't in there too far... until he stuck his finger in to try to get the noodle out, which only resulted in it being pushed farther in. He was crying, AJ was holding him, I had the flashlight out, trying to see up Simon's tiny nostril... really, it was fun for the whole family.
All Simon wanted to do was to cuddle his Daddy on the couch, even though Daddy wasn't offering any sympathy for his unfortunate situation. He sniffled and snorted and cried some more until, with a big SNORRRT, the offending pasta shot out of his nose onto Daddy's t-shirt. And then he cried a little more (Simon, not AJ).
I wish I thought he'd learn from that experience...
****************************************
I was in the car this morning, and I had the radio on- some Top 40 show. I was shocked, horrified and/or completely disgusted to hear that someone has re-done the song "She's Like The Wind"- you know, the one from Dirty Dancing? Yeah, they so messed it up. If you can't improve on something, people, LEAVE IT ALONE.
It didn't take me long to come up with an appropriate punishment: Whoever is responsible for this travesty should be taken out back and beaten severely about the head and shoulders with a large, wet herring.
I guess it's not what you'd call a logical consequence, but it might act as a deterrant for anyone with his eye on "(I've Had) The Time of My Life".
****************************************
And finally, an update on the porn store, aka "Strictly Adult Video". The sign now reads "Bush Hunters" (which I'm assuming is not a political thriller), and "Chronicles of a Pervert".
No further comment from me... anyone
Disc-Lexia
Originally posted May 25/2007 on "Allison Wonderland"
Does anyone else have serious problems with mishearing song lyrics? I can often figure out what people are actually saying (singing) when I've heard the song a few times, but there are a lot of songs that, no matter how overplayed they are, I can just never figure out. In fact, even after I've found out what the singer is supposedly saying, I still hear what I heard the first time.
OK, I know I'm not the only one. There are page-a-day calendars of this stuff out there. There's a comedian (darned if I can remember who it is- anyone know?) who talks about his mom mishearing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and singing "...The girl with colitis goes by!"
For example: Remember the blessedly-short-lived-as-a-single Jessica Simpson song "A Public Affair"? I won't hold it against you if you don't. Anyway, AJ and I could NOT figure out why, in the chorus, she whined "All the camels come out for a public affair". WTF? Camels?!! We actually looked it up: according to the interweb, she's saying "cameras", not "camels". I still hear camels (though not if I can avoid hearing it altogether). I like my version better.
Others for which I still have no idea what the correct lyrics are include:
Swen Stefani, "Sweet Escape": "I must apologize for actin', stinkin', treatin' you this way"
Len, "Steal My Sunshine" (remember this one?): "My stinky palms were into making stars, and I beg my serpent treats"
Shakira & Beyonce, "Beautiful Liar" (2nd verse): "I walked in on your machine- slow down, Sis!"
Oh, and I know Hayley remembers "Save your sisters for someone else's kin..." I don't even remember who does that one, but it sure was funny last summer.
I know I've got more, but I've embarrassed myself enough for one day. Now it's your turn: please, please leave a comment with lyrics you've misheard... don't leave me hanging here, people!
Does anyone else have serious problems with mishearing song lyrics? I can often figure out what people are actually saying (singing) when I've heard the song a few times, but there are a lot of songs that, no matter how overplayed they are, I can just never figure out. In fact, even after I've found out what the singer is supposedly saying, I still hear what I heard the first time.
OK, I know I'm not the only one. There are page-a-day calendars of this stuff out there. There's a comedian (darned if I can remember who it is- anyone know?) who talks about his mom mishearing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and singing "...The girl with colitis goes by!"
For example: Remember the blessedly-short-lived-as-a-single Jessica Simpson song "A Public Affair"? I won't hold it against you if you don't. Anyway, AJ and I could NOT figure out why, in the chorus, she whined "All the camels come out for a public affair". WTF? Camels?!! We actually looked it up: according to the interweb, she's saying "cameras", not "camels". I still hear camels (though not if I can avoid hearing it altogether). I like my version better.
Others for which I still have no idea what the correct lyrics are include:
Swen Stefani, "Sweet Escape": "I must apologize for actin', stinkin', treatin' you this way"
Len, "Steal My Sunshine" (remember this one?): "My stinky palms were into making stars, and I beg my serpent treats"
Shakira & Beyonce, "Beautiful Liar" (2nd verse): "I walked in on your machine- slow down, Sis!"
Oh, and I know Hayley remembers "Save your sisters for someone else's kin..." I don't even remember who does that one, but it sure was funny last summer.
I know I've got more, but I've embarrassed myself enough for one day. Now it's your turn: please, please leave a comment with lyrics you've misheard... don't leave me hanging here, people!
Spells
Originally posted April 22/2007 on "Allison Wonderland"
Can I just say something? I am so proud of what a good speller our little Fergie is becoming. Just look at the progress she's making: I don't recall her doing any spelling with the Black Eyed Peas, but now that she has a solo career, she's just a champ. She can spell "F to the E the R the G the I the E", which I believe is actually worth points on the SATs. She can spell "G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S"- not an easy word to spell. The first time I heard that song I didn't even realize it was her until I heard the spelling part, and then I went, "Oh, that must be Fergie, showing off again! God love 'er."
It seems that she's also teaching her little friends to spell, too! In the song Fergalicious she has her buddy will.i.am. spelling "D to da E to da L-I-C-I-O-U-S", which is probably at least a grade six level spelling word. I think (and correct me if I'm wrong) that he also spells "T to da A to da S-T-E-Y girl you TASTEY"... oops. I believe we'll have to deduct points there, sir... the correct spelling is "T-A-S-T-Y". I looked up.
Oh, but speaking of Fergie- is anyone sick of pop singers putting their own names in their songs? I mean, name dropping is tacky enough, but dropping your OWN name? That's kind of sad, too. It was bad enough when Shakira had someone else saying her name in a song, but now Fergie goes and puts hers in almost every single off her album. "Fergie Fergie me love you long time!" and such, plus the aforementioned Fergalicious. Shakira has sucked Beyonce into it, too, in their new song, Beautiful Liar. "Beyonce, Beyonce- Shakira, Shakira". Challenging lyrics, ladies. Wait... didn't Beyonce already do that when she was with Destiny's Child? Did she start this whole thing? Well, whoever it was, I'd like to put forward a motion that all mention of one's own name should henceforth be banned from lyrics in pop music. Or other music. Except for stage musicals- then the use of a character's name is OK.
Oh, and no more using your songs to promote your own clothing lines. Yes, I'm talking to you, Stefani!
Can I just say something? I am so proud of what a good speller our little Fergie is becoming. Just look at the progress she's making: I don't recall her doing any spelling with the Black Eyed Peas, but now that she has a solo career, she's just a champ. She can spell "F to the E the R the G the I the E", which I believe is actually worth points on the SATs. She can spell "G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S"- not an easy word to spell. The first time I heard that song I didn't even realize it was her until I heard the spelling part, and then I went, "Oh, that must be Fergie, showing off again! God love 'er."
It seems that she's also teaching her little friends to spell, too! In the song Fergalicious she has her buddy will.i.am. spelling "D to da E to da L-I-C-I-O-U-S", which is probably at least a grade six level spelling word. I think (and correct me if I'm wrong) that he also spells "T to da A to da S-T-E-Y girl you TASTEY"... oops. I believe we'll have to deduct points there, sir... the correct spelling is "T-A-S-T-Y". I looked up.
Oh, but speaking of Fergie- is anyone sick of pop singers putting their own names in their songs? I mean, name dropping is tacky enough, but dropping your OWN name? That's kind of sad, too. It was bad enough when Shakira had someone else saying her name in a song, but now Fergie goes and puts hers in almost every single off her album. "Fergie Fergie me love you long time!" and such, plus the aforementioned Fergalicious. Shakira has sucked Beyonce into it, too, in their new song, Beautiful Liar. "Beyonce, Beyonce- Shakira, Shakira". Challenging lyrics, ladies. Wait... didn't Beyonce already do that when she was with Destiny's Child? Did she start this whole thing? Well, whoever it was, I'd like to put forward a motion that all mention of one's own name should henceforth be banned from lyrics in pop music. Or other music. Except for stage musicals- then the use of a character's name is OK.
Oh, and no more using your songs to promote your own clothing lines. Yes, I'm talking to you, Stefani!
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